July 18, 2017
Warning: Your life will get better after reading this. If you let it.
Last Thursday, James and I were talking about what to do on the weekend. I asked him, "if this was your last weekend on Earth, what would we be doing?" (Because, yes, it sounds somber but more people need to plan their weekends by asking this). And of course, he responds right away with... "Skydiving!"
And immediately, I said, "okay!" nervously behind a timid smile.
The next day, I had to come to terms with the fact that I had agreed to jump from a plane at 10,000 feet. It hit me. And of course, knowing nothing about skydiving at that point, I was convinced that I was going to die. This is truly where my mind went. I thought, "I'm going to die. Wow. So, how do I feel about that?"
Suddenly, the life-flashing-before-eyes thing started. I knew that, probably, it was a dramatic response. But my body did NOT feel that way. It felt real. So, as my life-flashing ensued, I realized that although I have lived my life so damn well already, there was something that formed a lump in my throat.
I wasn't saying everything I wanted to say.
I STILL have this tendency to be careful with my words. Sure, sure... If you know me, you know I'm already expressive. Like, a lot. But there are times when I could bring a solution, provide so much value, feel so expressed, or live my truth completely, and I don't. For fear of some social death that you will all enforce on me if I say the wrong thing.
And sometimes I treat my words like a 10,000 foot jump. If I say the THING, if I open that door and JUMP, I am surely going to die. Or you're going to kill me. One of the two.
So, after skydiving and NOT dying, I have three things to say:
1. I am SO sorry for making you - whoever you are - out to be someone that will cut me out or kill me off if I say something you don't like. I'm making you out to be some pretty cut-throat fellow inhabitants of Earth. And when I realized that, it made me really sad. Because you are a beautiful person who loves deeply - or really, really wants to love deeply.
2. Say the THING. Whether it's just your own expression, a piece of feedback that could help someone, or the catalyst for a conversation you really need to have with someone... Say the thing. And invest in what that creates. Even if it ends up creating more work for you. (Example: saying something that reveals an insecurity or limiting belief of your own.)
3. The most dangerous thing in your life - far more dangerous than skydiving - is believing that you have time. I'm not saying you DON'T have time... I'm saying there's no way to know when your time will end. But when you believe you have time, you:
- Don't call that person you hate but actually love
- Don't experience unity in your family
- Don't have NEARLY as much fun
- Don't marry the person you want to marry
- Don't explore what your gift(s) are
- Don't experience the dream job
- Don't push past patterns of being stuck in some way
- Don't stop tolerating drama, gossip and hate
- Don't experience yourself as powerful
- Don't experience true freedom
- Don't fuck up in all the best ways
- Don't create friendships everywhere you go
- Don't experience more than shallow relationships
- Don't get the release of true forgiveness
- Don't come face to face with your body's actual limits
- Don't end hunger, war, abuse, sex-trafficking, racism, and
ALL THE OTHER THINGS you're missing out on by believing that you have time.
So... If this was your last week on Earth, what would you do?
No, seriously. Start your week with that. What would you do?